Even the day of my shahada (the day I became a practicing Muslim), I was convinced that I would never wear a headscarf. I was going to be one of those progressive Muslim women who didn't need to wear hijab. I honestly felt sorry for the covered women I'd see out and about. Sorry for them because of the stares or comments they'd get because they were covered. I swore I would never have to go through that.
But, alhamdulillah (thank God), I obviously learned more about my new religion and began to see the hijab issue in whole a different light.
So, ever since I made the decision to wear hijab, I always heard that it was all about forcing people to see me for what's inside, not the outside. I understood that, obviously, but I actually never really experienced it until the other day!!
Here it is, probably 6 years since I've been covering, and over 6 months since I started covering 100%, that a little light bulb went off in my head.
I was in Walmart (I'm trying to quit, but it's really hard, ok?), and as I was going around the corner of an aisle, there was a woman in front of me who was wearing realllllly tight jeans and a tank top with (really pretty) heels. She looked ok, but at the same time, probably could have made one of those 'People of Walmart' photo lists.
Anyway, as we both were turning to go down the next aisle, two men were walking the opposite way, and of course she caught their eyes. They creepily gawked at her, I mean, I'm surprised they didn't run into the $1 bags of Great Value chips in the aisle way.
I felt so sorry for her, because there was honestly nothing she could do to keep them from looking at her like that.
Maybe she wasn't even bothered by it, and maybe she was even flattered at the fact that they were practically drooling over her. But, the point is, if she didn't like it, it didn't matter because it was ALL out there to be seen and there was really not a thing she could have done to stop it.
And I want to be clear on the fact that I'm NOT dissing this lady at all. I feel like I can openly talk about these kind of things because as a revert to Islam, I understand what it's like to be on the other side of things.
When you dress a certain way to get attention, you get just that-attention. And it might be good, it might be bad. But, you can't pick, so you have to take it all.
So, at that moment, I felt SO liberated, and for the first time in my hijab/niqab wearing 'career', in control of letting who I want to see ME and who I don't.
And I'm not saying that they were sorry that they couldn't check ME out, I'm saying that I was the one who was deciding if they could or not. It really was a freeing and defining moment that I know I won't ever forget.
It really helps to remember times like this, when I get stares or dirty looks or someone talking to me reaaaalllly slooooowwlllly{in English} just in case I don't understand them. Dealing with allllll of those things makes it SO worth it when something like this happens, and I remember the real reason and wisdom behind wearing hijab.
FYI's:
*hijab=headscarf that is non-transparent and covers the hair/head/neck/bosom.
*niqab=face covering that leaves only the eyes visible.
*shahada=a declaration of faith. Simply stating that you believe God is one, you believe in all of His prophets, and that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was his last and final messenger.
:)
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